" Ajay! Did you take the ticket? Did you keep the luggage in the taxi? " , these were the words uttered by my mother while we started from home four years back. When we were all set and just a horn away for the train to start from the platform, my father gave me a tight hug and wished me all success for my college life. He was clearly upset, that his own son was going away for four years to study by staying in a hostel, though weekend permissions were there for me to come home at least once in a month, somehow we never realized back then. When the train started, I lied down and was trying to think something. I tried harder. The more I stressed to distract myself, the more I missed Chennai. I would not say I was afraid nor was I excited. I was all set to explore a whole new dimension of life, Hostel. Like it or not, I was destined to be there. I was also afraid at times, doubting myself if I could manage on my own, if I could wash my clothes, if I could get up on my own, if I could trust my own self. The answers for all the questions were obtained, for one has to answer or force himself to answer, to survive in a hostel. After trying to unload the luggage and trying to segregate things which I had brought, I heard a bell, it was around half past five and the warden was instructing the parents to leave the hostel premises immediately. Suddenly I felt an adrenaline rush in my stomach and the walls around me started to move backwards, I could not hear what my mother said, I could not hear anything until I heard the word 'Bye'. She had started to leave, I had not listened to what she had said before, probably she would have wished me luck for the first day of my college, which was starting the next day. That moment I realized I was all going to be on my own, at least for the next four years. Independent and confident are the words often attributed to a hosteler, I do not know if that is true, maybe yes, four years from then, I never knew the confidence level would be at stake. I am independent now, I can manage anywhere away from home, for that matter any hosteler can. I was confident about that up until the last day of college arrived. When one of my closest friends gave me a hug, similar to the one my father gave four years back, I could sense moist content in my eyes and every time i blinked, a droplet fell through my cheeks, I did not bother to wipe it, for I knew that cherishing the moments of friendship of four years seemed important. I was not confident and was afraid if I could get friends like the one I had had at college, if I could trust someone the same way I trusted my peers, if there will be anyone who can encourage me, share laughter. Am going to a whole new world, Reality. Am not confident to face it, without my peers, without the pillars which had shaped me up. Four years is just the number now, it might even seem like few days, but each and every day is still in my heart, close to my heart. In fact, college is over, no more turning back, but a part of my soul is still wandering through the corridors of the hostel, canteen and ground. I can see it now, I can feel it. It is happy out there, while I am trying to be happy looking at it.
